Is Cheating Wrong?

by Peter
Posted On

As moral agents, I am sure we can all agree that cheating is morally wrong in whatever we choose to do, be it examination, contract bargaining, and even in our relationships. Some of us have cheated on one thing or the other, and we have come to realize the ‘mistakes’ we made because of our exposure and the power of introspection. While some people recognize that they have done something morally wrong and make efforts to correct it, some do not see the need to feel remorseful. Well, who made me the moral police to make anyone accountable for their moral wrong?

In a narrow sense, the relevant question is if cheating is wrong in a romantic relationship. Yes, cheating is wrong on all grounds if it defiles implied moral rules in a relationship and breaks the trust of a faithful partner. To cheat in a romantic relationship is to act selfishly without considering your partner’s feelings. However, if it is discussed and agreed upon that you can have an open relationship then this form of “cheating” is not wrong. In a strict sense, cheating is the act of infidelity when in a committed relationship. It is important to note that with the social media age and many societies that support liberalism, there are diverse definitions of what amounts to cheating to several people. The line of the definition is so blurry that it is hard to keep up with the definitions.

Another issue about the definition of cheating is that it varies across cultures, beliefs, locations, and even situations. Can flirting be said to be cheating? Or a one night stand that happened under the influence of alcohol? Can a lap dance amount to cheating? And can it amount to cheating when you are in a fantasy land in your head with someone other than your partner? Individuals (partners) on opposite sides on issues like this will often have different opinions and might reason alike only in exceptional circumstances.

It will be inimical and premature to think that a significant cause of cheating in a relationship is because the cheater is stuck in a starved, sexless and dwindling relationship with his/her partner. People in flourishing relationships can cheat too. This will bring us to discuss a few reasons why people cheat in their relationships.

>>Also Read: Is Cheating a Sin?

Why Do People Cheat In Relationships

They Just Want To

While this may be a little bit neutral, it is the truth. Most cheaters do not see any wrong in cheating while they are involved in a romantic relationship. They go ahead and cheat because they are confident they wouldn’t be confronted or get caught.

>>Also Read: Is Cheating Selfish?

Sexual Satisfaction or Lack Of Intimacy

Cheaters often are not deprived of sex in their relationships but still go out to have coitus with persons outside their relationship because they have a sexual urge to satisfy. They seek it outside because they could not get it from their partners, and they are unwilling to discuss such issues with their significant other. You will agree with me that it takes a level of audacity, right?

They Want Someone Richer and Hotter

Just like the other reasons for cheating doesn’t apply to every cheater, this point applies to a set of cheats. Some ‘lovers’ cheat on their significant other because they meet with someone who treats them better because of his financial buoyancy and better looks. Well, sorry to such partner who is being cheated on, you just have to work more and trust your looks.

They Need To Reclaim Unlived Life Experiences

Most people cheat because they feel they have missed out on some part of their life and feel the need to go through such experience because life is too short. Others cheat so that they can reconnect with their lost self or escape themselves and not their partner. This is said to portray some kind of ‘identity crisis.’ A therapist’s patient who had cancer and cheated on her husband once said she did it because she was searching for ‘vitality.’

The issue of ‘vitality’ brings other arguments about a lover’s view towards how his/her partner decides to achieve ‘vitality’.

>>Also Read: Is Cheating Unforgivable?

What To Do With A Cheating Partner

While it is troubling and hard to agree that one’s partner is a cheat, it is essential to treat the issue as soon as possible. You do not necessarily need to wait till a partner cheats not once or twice before you have to speak with them. Conversations about insecurities in relationships are necessary, and such conversations should not be shunned when you suspect your significant other of having an external affair.

Hostile confrontation is not advisable when planning to ask questions as it might lead to physical injury and might leave the matter unsolved. Partners whose significant other cheats often go through emotional pain and feel the weight on their neck as they tend to question so many things about themselves – whether they are enough or not – and this might affect their self-esteem and perspective about trust. It is not advisable not to cheat as payback as this might transfer the pain to another person. The best thing to do is sit with them and discuss why they would do such a thing. Try to iron things out amicably. In circumstances where they are unable to give a tangible reason for doing such, the best thing to do is to leave such a relationship respectably. Make it clear that it wasn’t your fault.

As humans, we can only effectively control what we can do instead of the limited ways we can control others and even our partners. While we can’t effectively stop our partners from cheating, there are several things to do to keep one’s partner in check and avoid the risks of being cheated on. Such examples include and are not limited to;

Occasional counseling with one’s partner.
Understand your partner as much as they try to understand you.
Acknowledge boundaries. (this includes respecting their space)
Kill all forms of jealousy and trust them more.
Communicate always.

>>Also Read: Is Cheating Ever Okay?

Is An Open Relationship Cheating?

No, cheating is not the same thing as an open relationship. An open relationship is a form of relationship between two intimate lovers who mutually consent to other intimate relationships outside their relationship. A relationship with another person in an open relationship will never come as a surprise or shock to the ‘participants’ of such relationships.

This is simply driving at the fact that if you are not in an open relationship with your partner, and they are involved in other romantic relationship with another person, you have been at a disadvantage in your relationship – you have been cheated on. You should not get it mixed up.

>>Also Read: Is Cheating Normal?