Just because you are now in a relationship does not mean everything will come up smelling like roses. Many people lie on their online dating profiles, which could create trouble when they meet someone new. Telling lies in real life is also stressful and troublesome. There is not just one gender that tells lies. Male and female and all other orientations spew lies. The lies should not continue once you have been caught. However, more often than not, the lies continue—some small white lies like height or weight, and then a few possible huge stories that are obviously untrue. Rather than try to understand why there are some that continue or begin telling lies, let’s look at some of the most common lies that are being told.
The Promise Of Exclusivity – The Biggest Lie
You meet the perfect person, you start dating and making plans. The problem is that person is not technically single. This is the one lie that never seems to go away. There will always be some people who end up getting emotionally hurt by this lie.
It would be easy to say wake up, people!! Does it not seem funny to you that if you have good sexual chemistry, great sex, but you very seldom spend the entire night together? When you go out on a date, is it always out of town, someplace very dark and quiet? This should tell you something.
Yes, you could outright ask, but obviously, you have at least one time. The behavior continues and begins to get more strange; something should be tapping you on the head and saying, ‘Hey, wake up and smell the coffee!”
Being In Love With Someone Else
The next lie has got to be, I am available but still in love with my ex. So simply, no, you are NOT available. Your heart, mind, and soul are all still attached to someone else. If you are spending time dating another person, whether dating or in a supposed relationship, you are wasting your time and the other person’s time. You can not be there emotionally for anyone else when you have not straightened and let your own heart mend. Honestly, you have no business being in another relationship until you, yourself, have healed.
Lying About Our Past
If there is something that you are avoiding telling your significant other that comes from your past, get it out. Be honest and spill your guts. By not being honest about your past situations can still be considered a lie. A relationship should be built on trust. No one is telling you that you must spill the skeletons out of your closet within the first hour of the meeting. This means simply that when you withhold important stuff because it is scary, hurtful, a stupid mistake, or whatever, it ultimately is hurtful to the other person. It is, in essence, stating that you do not trust them with your deep dark secrets.
Some of these instances should be things such as why your relationship ended, if you made a stupid mistake and were in jail, or even if you cheated on your ex, or them on you. Believe it or not, even if you have issues with depression, anxiety, or other mental disorders, this is what should be shared.
Lying About Money
Yes, the idol we all seek. Financial matters are an important part of a relationship. There are two ways to look at the financial situation, one you are each responsible for your own bank accounts. There is no sharing of the accounts. This is the point when you split the bills between you. You can each pay half of the total amount and have a joint account for the monthly bills.
The other way is to make a joint account, and you both put your money into the account. This way, the bills are paid, and you are jointly responsible. Both these issues mean that there is some trust involved. If one of you is putting all your income into the account and the other is only sharing half to three-quarters of your income. Telling your partner that you have a smaller amount than you actually do is dangerous to your relationship. Keep in mind that financial matters is one of the most important matters you will deal with as a couple. As long as you are together, this will be an issue.
Lying About The Future
What is it you want in your future? Is this the perfect person you are with the right one? Do you both agree on all the important topics? These are serious conversations that need to take place. If and when you have children is something you need to be prepared for. If it is something as simple as using birth control of some type, then that is easy. However, if one wants kids and the other does not, this could lead to issues. Be upfront about your feelings and have an in-depth discussion. There are times when one person may tell the other what they believe the person wants to hear. This will ultimately lead to disagreements and animosity. Fear, anger, hurt, and more will become a common part of the relationship. Be honest in regards to how you feel, do not answer in the way you think you should.
Cheating – Lethal Dose
What is one thing that can end the best of relationships? Cheating! I know, how can it be the best relationship if the one person felt they had to cheat on their partner? Simply because answers given to certain relationship questions were answered in the way they thought they should answer, not what they really felt. Cheating is an issue that causes all pain types, mental, emotional, and even physical at times. When one person cheats, it is against the vows promised, the trust between the two. That person is putting both at risk for sexually transmitted diseases. This also pertains to emotional cheating as well. It does not always have to be in the physical sense only.
Pity and Guilt
There are also times when one person tries to gain pity or make their partner feel guilty by pretending to be sick, mentally ill, or terminally ill. This type of behavior will surely end the relationship. These people that pretend to be sick are manipulating the other for the purpose of someone to take care of them. This is a detrimental behavior that will hurt all people involved.
Commitment
This is generally considered to be one of the males biggest problems. If the person you meet and begin dating has a fear of commitment, he or she will avoid all forms of conversation pertaining to a committed relationship. When you find that your partner avoids discussing this, be calm, and discuss it as soon as possible. If necessary, plan to end this relationship. You cannot change a person, no matter how you try. The intention of the other person may not be what you believe it should be.