Just because you are now in a relationship does not mean everything will come up smelling like roses. Many people lie on their online dating profiles, which could create trouble when they meet someone new. Telling lies in real life is also stressful and troublesome. There is not just one gender that tells lies. Male and female and all other orientations spew lies. The lies should not continue once you have been caught. However, more often than not, the lies continue—some small white lies like height or weight, and then a few possible huge stories that are obviously untrue. Rather than try to understand why there are some that continue or begin telling lies, let’s look at some of the most common lies that are being told.

The Promise Of Exclusivity – The Biggest Lie

You meet the perfect person, you start dating and making plans. The problem is that person is not technically single. This is the one lie that never seems to go away. There will always be some people who end up getting emotionally hurt by this lie.

It would be easy to say wake up, people!! Does it not seem funny to you that if you have good sexual chemistry, great sex, but you very seldom spend the entire night together? When you go out on a date, is it always out of town, someplace very dark and quiet? This should tell you something.

Yes, you could outright ask, but obviously, you have at least one time. The behavior continues and begins to get more strange; something should be tapping you on the head and saying, ‘Hey, wake up and smell the coffee!”

Being In Love With Someone Else

The next lie has got to be, I am available but still in love with my ex. So simply, no, you are NOT available. Your heart, mind, and soul are all still attached to someone else. If you are spending time dating another person, whether dating or in a supposed relationship, you are wasting your time and the other person’s time. You can not be there emotionally for anyone else when you have not straightened and let your own heart mend. Honestly, you have no business being in another relationship until you, yourself, have healed.

Lying About Our Past

If there is something that you are avoiding telling your significant other that comes from your past, get it out. Be honest and spill your guts. By not being honest about your past situations can still be considered a lie. A relationship should be built on trust. No one is telling you that you must spill the skeletons out of your closet within the first hour of the meeting. This means simply that when you withhold important stuff because it is scary, hurtful, a stupid mistake, or whatever, it ultimately is hurtful to the other person. It is, in essence, stating that you do not trust them with your deep dark secrets.

Some of these instances should be things such as why your relationship ended, if you made a stupid mistake and were in jail, or even if you cheated on your ex, or them on you. Believe it or not, even if you have issues with depression, anxiety, or other mental disorders, this is what should be shared.

Lying About Money

Yes, the idol we all seek. Financial matters are an important part of a relationship. There are two ways to look at the financial situation, one you are each responsible for your own bank accounts. There is no sharing of the accounts. This is the point when you split the bills between you. You can each pay half of the total amount and have a joint account for the monthly bills.

The other way is to make a joint account, and you both put your money into the account. This way, the bills are paid, and you are jointly responsible. Both these issues mean that there is some trust involved. If one of you is putting all your income into the account and the other is only sharing half to three-quarters of your income. Telling your partner that you have a smaller amount than you actually do is dangerous to your relationship. Keep in mind that financial matters is one of the most important matters you will deal with as a couple. As long as you are together, this will be an issue.

Lying About The Future

What is it you want in your future? Is this the perfect person you are with the right one? Do you both agree on all the important topics? These are serious conversations that need to take place. If and when you have children is something you need to be prepared for. If it is something as simple as using birth control of some type, then that is easy. However, if one wants kids and the other does not, this could lead to issues. Be upfront about your feelings and have an in-depth discussion. There are times when one person may tell the other what they believe the person wants to hear. This will ultimately lead to disagreements and animosity. Fear, anger, hurt, and more will become a common part of the relationship. Be honest in regards to how you feel, do not answer in the way you think you should.

Cheating – Lethal Dose

What is one thing that can end the best of relationships? Cheating! I know, how can it be the best relationship if the one person felt they had to cheat on their partner? Simply because answers given to certain relationship questions were answered in the way they thought they should answer, not what they really felt. Cheating is an issue that causes all pain types, mental, emotional, and even physical at times. When one person cheats, it is against the vows promised, the trust between the two. That person is putting both at risk for sexually transmitted diseases. This also pertains to emotional cheating as well. It does not always have to be in the physical sense only.

Pity and Guilt

There are also times when one person tries to gain pity or make their partner feel guilty by pretending to be sick, mentally ill, or terminally ill. This type of behavior will surely end the relationship. These people that pretend to be sick are manipulating the other for the purpose of someone to take care of them. This is a detrimental behavior that will hurt all people involved.

Commitment

This is generally considered to be one of the males biggest problems. If the person you meet and begin dating has a fear of commitment, he or she will avoid all forms of conversation pertaining to a committed relationship. When you find that your partner avoids discussing this, be calm, and discuss it as soon as possible. If necessary, plan to end this relationship. You cannot change a person, no matter how you try. The intention of the other person may not be what you believe it should be.

When two people are in a relationship, and they have both agreed to the relationship as a monogamous one, that would mean that if one of you is browsing an online dating site, it can be considered the same as cheating. Yes, many couples will outright say that looking is not the same as being with them.

A relationship is not a 50-50 deal. Both parties must put their all into the relationship. If one is not doing so, they are not giving 100% effort to maintain the relationship.

Is Using Online Dating Apps While In A Relationship Clearly Cheating?

Cheating is not a clear cut issue. The two people in a relationship must be on the same level. Such as are they committed to each other? Is this a monogamous relationship? What does each party consider cheating? When all those questions have been discussed satisfactorily for both parties, they will then know what cheating means to each. If one of you feels that it would be cheating if the other was on an online dating site, the answer is a resounding YES! Both of you must agree that it is okay for you to look at others.

Cheating Or Looking?

It would be difficult to label looking as cheating. One can easily look at a menu but not order more than one entree. It is also almost impossible to tell a partner to look at the opposite gender. Responsible adults have careers and other responsibilities to maintain. Very seldom will you find a place of employment where there is only one gender working. Even church groups are most often mixed.

For one person to not look at the opposite gender in employment settings or church, even in a supermarket, could be considered rude and disrespectful. However, looking at the opposite gender can easily turn into cheating if one party takes that look further and begins an intimate ordeal with the person.

Is It Emotional Cheating?

The simple act of looking online at eligible partners is considered cheating in an emotional manner. When the partner finds out, this hurts them to the core. They begin to wonder what they did or didn’t do to ‘force’ their partner on a dating site. If you are that person stop. This is not your fault; you are not the one to blame. They are.

Are You In an Open Relationship?

Are you in a serious relationship, but you and your partner feel it is okay to be with others, then you are in an open relationship. Meaning that even if you hit the proverbial home run with someone other than your partner, it is not considered cheating.

With the variety and multitude of the many forms of sexual orientation around us all today, it is easy to admit if you are confused. Just recently, I read a new one, ‘polyamory’. This is just my personal opinion; however, this means that you find a desire, interest, or sexual response to more than one person at a time, maybe different genders. Okay, so apparently, I grew up many moons ago. To me, this means cheating.

This means you are likely bisexual if you enjoy being sexual with both genders. Poly means more than. Mono would be single. Amor is love. Simple right? Not so, say the experts. We now have non-binary, bisexual, gay, and many more. Confusing to me, to say the least. You are either a male or female having sexual liaisons with another male or female. Again, if the person who is considered your main partner has agreed to multiple relations, then, by all means, go for it.

What Does The Law Say?

Using dating apps while in a relationship is considered cheating and can be considered grounds and evidence in a divorce. Profiles on online dating can be used as evidence in a divorce hearing, but certain requirements must be met for the evidence to be admissible.

Online Cheating

This would also mean that the same is true for online looking. Since it would be difficult for one person to state what should or should not be considered cheating, this is the topic of conversation with your partner BEFORE you decide to look or act upon your desires.

Micro-cheating

When a person looks at others online when they are already in a relationship, it is considered micro-cheating. Often-times considered to be flirting, the micro-cheat does not involve any exchange of any body fluids. No kissing, no sex. However, the act of flirting many times involves innuendos, sexually-based emojis, which is considered cheating.

Is Being On A Dating Site Cheating? – Final Thoughts

To phrase it in a simple manner for all to understand, any inappropriate behavior to someone other than your partner is cheating. Something as small as hitting the like button on an old social media post that is sexual in nature is micro-cheating.

If, in your relationship, you had previously mentioned being in a monogamous relationship and one or both of you are interested in looking for more pleasure, have an updated conversation and discuss all that it would entail. When the conversation is held, the air will be cleared as to what you consider cheating.

I personally believe that No, Being On Dating Apps Is NOT Cheating. Don’t get me wrong, it is still not ok, but I wouldn’t call it cheating either. People often use online dating apps for gratification and although that is not very healthy, in my opinion, is not as unhealthy as cheating.